Raw, Honest & Blazing With Confidence

I’m over at katetoholka.com today sharing a post that flowed from my heart and through my fingers, out into the world.

“As I stared down at the blurry tiles through my tears, I wondered how I’d gotten here (‘Here’ being the foetal position on the bathroom floor – yep…programmed by movies).

How did that bubbly girl who often got complimented on her beaming smile get to this place where she was contemplating ending the opportunity to ever smile again?… Read More

What an honour to be featured alongside other women (Lydnsey Eden,  Loveday Good and Louise Pontin) sharing raw stories. Kate is all about being a Trailblazer and healthy living as a lifestyle (word.).

Make it as you wish Adventuress,

Your True Life Vision Takes Courage

Found On

When you start acknowledging that you want ‘more’ in your life, it can be scary. The questions start to come up. Does wanting more mean you need to change everything at once? Does it mean all the good stuff will change too? Does saying it out loud mean you need to make drastic changes immediately?

Then that bloody unhelpful voice kicks in saying, “you can’t do it silly, you don’t have enough skills or confidence or knowhow AND you’re waaaaaaaay too lazy/stupid/unworthy. Besides, even if you did attempt it you would probably fail, fail, FAAAAAIIIIIILLLLLLL!!!!!!”

Does any of that sound familiar?

These questions, answers and thoughts often overwhelm us so much so that we stay in inaction.  The result is that you are left yearning for the wonderful possibilities out there but feeling like you just don’t know how to reach them. That gap then exists between where you are now and where you would like to be and that void is often a source of unhappiness…

Does any of that ring a bell?

Change can be daunting. It is the unknown! Is full of uncertainty!  Breaking out from the status quo often is. It means stretching out of your comfort zone when sometimes staying in the ‘zone’ is well…comfortably warm and safe – like those favourite gungy trackie pants you have (comfy but really not really all that exciting). Plus, the future can feel like it is fraught with potential challenges and ‘danger’.

But is it really safe to stay there? Well, if you want an ‘okay’ life then yes it is. But if you want an amazing life, one that you are truly enamoured with, then the comfort zone becomes a dangerous place to be. It becomes unsafe because you are already aware that there is a better option of life for you out there while you are where you are now. In my experience, if you know it but ignore it, ‘things’ (blocks barriers, frustration, mediocrity, sickness, unhappiness, unease) happen until you pay attention.

You have to ask yourself if the vision you see in your dreams is worth leaving the status quo and making the effort to get there:

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. Anais Nin

All I know is that I want a great life. A great life on my own terms. A life I can look back on and say, “Wooooohaaaaaa I gave it my all! I tried and I got more than I could ever dream of. Sometimes I attempted something and even though I was reaching for the stars and I ended up catching the dreamy moon and other times I tried and and I ‘failed’ but I learned and at least I wasn’t left wondering…what if and kicking myself because I didn’t have the guts to give it a go.”

I am finding the courage to make my life the way I want. I am stepping out of my comfort zone and putting myself out there into the unknown. I am being brave in the face of difficult questions and challenging situations.  I am looking things in the eye and trusting myself that I will find a solution. It is not easy and I get scared. I question myself. I sometimes wonder if another way would be easier. But because I TRULY know it is worth the effort, I’m building my strengths in self-belief, courage and taking forward action. I’m enjoying my today while putting things in place for my tomorrow. For this I am being rewarded with so much magic and so much support showing up in my world.

Trust me, you want to do it without the need for life/death experiences to wake you up to what life can be.

Wake up now if there are parts of your life that are just okay. Wake up now if there are parts you love and parts you hate. Wake up now if it all seems not so fabulous. Because if you do, if you really stand up and look for it, there is a lot of great out there and your life can be so much more than you once thought was possible.

I say all of this as a person who was once in the darkest hell hole you could imagine and is now living in much more sunshine. I’m still on my journey with all its challenges and all its glories but I am so grateful I gave life a go.

What is something you can do today to take a step towards where you want to go and who you want to be? What could you acknowledge or admit that feels true to you without necessarily having to do anything about it yet? How can you give your life a go?

Make it as you wish Adventuress. MAKE. IT. AS. YOU. WISH.

Life is Like A Bus (and A Box of Chocolates)

My bus analogy for life’s crap…

I was catching the bus a lot while making my daily commute to the admin office (aka the twilight zone and unfortunately not in the vampire kind of way) last year. While sitting there with handbag and jacket piled on me and crossing my legs and balancing my iPad on top of aforementioned mountain of things, I felt the sway and force of every corner.

I noticed that the more I tried to right myself against the turns the more I thought I was going to topple over. On the other hand, if I relaxed and just let the turns move me, I never fell off my seat and the ride became a lot more comfortable (well, except perhaps for the person sitting next to me).

Such a small thing, but I gained such an insight into a life parallel:

LEAN INTO THE CURVES LIFE THROWS AT YOU.

By going with it, rather than fighting against it, the experience is actually shorter and smoother.

You might have experienced it when having to do a project you don’t like but have to do. Or you might have been faced with a change ‘forced upon you’ (job redundancy, relationship breakup). By ‘resisting’ it, you make the process a lot more difficult for yourself and it becomes a longer-term shadow hanging over you.

On a deeper level you may be resisting some issue (fear, problem relationship, health concern) going on by ignoring it or suppressing it. Then,when it rears its not-so-pretty head it becomes a much bigger, painful issue than if you had tackled it head on.

Yes, the situation may be painful or uncomfortable but by refusing to accept it it can become a more drawn out, challenging time than if you surrendered into the experience.

Which leads me to a saying that I can now totally relate to:

“WHAT YOU RESIST PERSISTS” – CARL JUNG

How have you experienced this in your life? Have you had other instances where you’ve flowed through something, even though it was tough and nipped it in the bud? What was the outcome like?

So next time an issue arises, see if you are resisting it. Or if you could surrender into it and play with it a little to have a better experience through a challenging time. Remember how fun the game ‘corners’ was in the car when you were younger?? It’s like that – lean into the curves. Life’s more fun that way…

Ride life like a bus Adventuresses!