Do You Hate A Part of Yourself Too?

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Warning! This post goes a little bit lovingly woowoo 🙂

Is there a part of yourself that you hate? A section of you that you fear will raise its head? Yes, hate is a strong word, but let’s be honest now. Do you have a part of yourself that you hate? I have.

That was hard for me to admit because I don’t hate anything. There is no room for hate in my life. Instead of ‘hating’ I try:

• to understand with compassion,
• to see from another point of view,
• to see through the filter of another person’s experience,

and then to express my opinion and persuade if I feel strongly enough. Ultimately I try to accept others and to let go and let live.

I have no control over other people. I can only change myself (haha, yes, this is frustrating on occasion – I’m only human after all!).

Anyways, back to the hate I have towards a part of me. That part is ANXIETY.

I’ve come to understand it from many different sides and now see it as the desperate Wake Up Call to live the life I was born to live that I truly needed to stand up and pay attention.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuut. I hate how it makes me feel when it rears its head.

In those moments that it wells up in my chest, I hate.

When I fear the world going dark again, I hate.

When it lifts my heart rate and I go into fight or flight mode, I hate.

When it narrows my perspective, I hate.

When I lose my connection to who I know I can be, I hate.

When I feel the world is hopeless, I hate.

When I feel constant fear, I hate.

When feeling some of those, ahem, not so lovely things above the other day I went for a run and chanted to myself, “I am strong, healthy and happy in body, mind and soul.” and then again, “I am strong, healthy and happy in body, mind and soul” and again and again and again and again and again and again.

It didn’t quite connect at the time.

Next I went to yoga for the first time in months. I went through the motions of moving and breathing, trying to focus my distracted mind on the simple (and strenuous!) flow. It felt good to move my body and channel cleansing breath to the stagnant corners of my being.

Finally laying down in Savasana, I was trying to sit with (or ignore – I couldn’t decide which would be better) the anxious fear sensations in my chest.

A thought popped into my head: Send it love.

 

I’m willing to try anything in those uncomfortable moments, so I did.

I visualised the anxiety as a ball of dark cloud residing in my chest and I told it it was loved.

I felt the fear and told it it was loved.

I saw the darkness and told it it was loved.

I felt the hopelessness and told it it was loved.

I felt and repeated “You are loved”

 

You are loved

 

You are loved 

 

You are loved

 

You are loved

(Oh my god, big tears are falling as I write this …)

You are loved

 

You are loved 

 

You are loved

 

You are loved

 

You are loved

 

You are loved 

 

You are loved

 

You are loved

 

You are loved

 

You are loved 

 

You are loved

 

You are loved

And I felt overwhelming love and compassion for that part of me. Laying there on the mat, in a room full of yogis, I silently cried for the acceptance it felt, for the overwhelming love it finally was receiving. From it being a hated, unwanted, feared, and loathed part of me it had turned into something that I was giving love to.

It felt the love. It felt it so truly and so deeply. So it let go and transformed.

What part of yourself do you hate? Can you tell it is is loved?

Make it as you wish Adventuress

You are loved.

Feel it.

Focus is The Key To Getting Somewhere

When we start getting organised with our lives and looking into all the parts that make up our existence, we can want to pounce on getting everything right IMMEDIATELY.

We begin with the right intention – to want to streamline things, to finally get that done, to feel purposeful and organised – but when we try to tackle everything at once it can lead to overwhelm and ultimately nothing changes.

Which is why I am such a champion for focussing on ONE major thing at a time. I’ve totally learned this the hard way. When I start getting my  ‘let’s do this’ vibe on and looking at goals and projects I have a tendency to  do everything at once.

Yup, I’ll start an exercise regime and a healthy diet and while I’m at it I’m also carrying out project house to haven, and decluttering every room in the house, plus designing new products and finishing my craft projects, and starting on that new cross stitch pattern. I want to dive into writing the book and doing that new skin care routine. Well, I’m on a roll now, so I’m going to start reading 7 of the books on my to read list, recommence my morning pages, only shop organic, start a new spirituality practice, join my local toastmasters, do a course on baking and continue my plans for world domination with love.

Yes, these are all good things. All things I want to experience and accomplish but this is just not going to work this way is it?

I honour my desires by writing them down somewhere so I can capture them in a place that won’t forget them (thank god for my master to do list!).

Life is Crafted: Flourish A5 Master To Do List Page

I want to set myself up for success, not failure right off the bat (NB: failure is your friend, but that is for another post!).

When you focus on one main thing at a time (or at a stretch 2 or 3) and you make steady improvements, it has a way of bringing up the other areas of life.

A coaching client of mine was focussing on her new business as her main goal. She has a busy life – studying at University and raising a little girl as well, plus her partner just moved in. Unsurprisingly she was feeling overwhelmed and was beating herself up because she wasn’t doing anything well. We worked on time management and working out her schedule, we created inspiring goals and manageable action lists, we dove into the ‘Why’ behind her reasons for starting her business. Things started to change for her.

She really saw that starting her business was connected with her own needs of self-accomplishment and for being a role model and provider for her child. Because we created a flexible schedule for her activities, she could feel productive during the day, hitting her goals and then be able to switch off and spend real quality time with her daughter and partner (instead of physically being with them but thinking of all the things she hadn’t done because she wasn’t clear). She also realised she needed to look after herself and her energy to be able to work on her business, so she almost automatically started exercising more frequently and eating better. Because she was better organised with her time and focussed on her business, she saw how she could link her uni studies to supporting her biz.

Other things happen in life, you have social commitments, you still have to eat and clean the house, these things will happen. But by having one clear goal – one main focus – you see progress, your confidence improves, your momentum builds and this certainly spreads.

I now create 1-3 main things each day, week, month and quarter to focus on. Yes, I occasionally get tempted to tackle everything at once, but I’ve now experienced the joys of focus and man, it is way better than constant overwhelm!

So, how can you get started with this?

1. Write down everything you want to do now.

2. Give yourself permission to NOT have to do everything immediately.

3. See which area of life/goal/project, that if you put most of your attention there will have the greatest positive impact on your life.

4. Make a note of the other things in a place that you can easily refer back to. You will create time for these when you are ready. Make sure you refer back to this list on a regular basis to see when you might be ready.

5. Write an inspiring, motivating, specific, measurable, attainable, reaching and time-framed goal for the thing you have chosen.

Life is Crafted: Dotty A5 Goal Planning Page

6. Allow whatever else has to happen in your life come up – consciously choose to do it or say thank you, but no or not now.

7. Do the work and celebrate each milestone. Don’t forget to pat yourself on the back!

37 Routine Ideas to Help Create a Life You Love

Yup, this is a picture of a typical monthly pamper session I schedule in…

Routines and regularly scheduled activities are some of the foundations of creating a life you love. They can be a mix of the mundane, the inspirational, the creative, the reminders, the planning and the check-in activities that keep your life moving onward and upward.

I wrote a post on Life is Crafted recently cover 37 ideas to use for your daily, weekly, fortnightly and monthly routines.

Share with us what is on your routine list below!

Make it as you wish Adventuress!
Arienne